


and I don't think this pain's gonna go away

by RonnieMinor



Series: she and her and you and me [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, F/F, F/M, OT3, break-up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-15
Updated: 2012-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-14 07:05:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/512628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonnieMinor/pseuds/RonnieMinor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day that Lydia leaves for Harvard is harder than anyone thought it would be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and I don't think this pain's gonna go away

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by Lady Antebellum's 'Cold As Stone', taking its title from the song.

It’s a Friday morning when Lydia packs the last of her bags into the back of the old pickup she bought herself the summer after senior year. Stiles stands in the doorway and watches. Erica sits in the kitchen, nursing a cup of chamomile tea and starting at the patterns in the wooden table like they can tell her the secrets of the universe. Nobody says a word while Lydia goes in and out of the head, grabbing the final few things she’s gathered together. Then there’s nothing left to pack up and they’re all just _there_ , fixed in position like planets in orbit. 

The truth is, of course, that Stiles and Erica might be planets, but Lydia’s the sun. She’s the thing that they move around; the centre of it all. And now she’s going. 

‘It’s not forever’, she says, standing by the truck and looking at Stiles. ‘It’s a two-year Master’s degree, that’s all. It’ll be over before any of us know it. And it’s not like I won’t be back to visit.’ 

Stiles doesn’t say, ‘No you won’t’, but it’s written in every line of his body, from his crossed arms to the tension in his shoulders. In fact, he doesn’t say anything at all, just comes over to her and presses a kiss on to her cheek, reaching out to stroke her face gently before turning and walking back inside. Lydia can hear his feet on the stairs from outside. 

She bites her lip, squeezes her eyes closed for a moment, then heads inside. She rests her hand lightly on Erica’s shoulder. 

‘I’m going now’, she says softly. ‘I just wanted to say goodbye.’ 

Erica is silent, but her shoulders jerk and Lydia knows she’s crying. 

‘You know, you could come with me. It’s still an option, if you guys wanted to.’ 

Erica shakes her head, still not looking at Lydia. ‘No, it’s not’, she says, sniffling. Her voice is thick with tears and it makes Lydia’s throat choke up. ‘Just because you didn’t say it out loud doesn’t mean we don’t know that you don’t want this anymore.’ 

‘I still love you’, Lydia tells her, her voice sounding as small and miserable as she feels. ‘I do. And I don’t _want_ to leave you both.’ 

Erica does turn around then. ‘Yes, you do’, she says, eyes red-rimmed and running with tears. ‘This life isn’t what you want anymore.’ She shrugs. ‘You want to be normal for once. Nobody’s blaming you for that.’ She wipes a hand across her face, smearing the mascara-stained tear tracks on her cheeks. ‘You should go. You’ve got a long drive ahead of you and I don’t want you driving through the night.’ 

‘I’m really going to miss you’, Lydia grits out, sheer force of will keeping the tears at bay as she turns and leaves. She gets into her truck, slamming the door harder than she needs to. Then she pulls out of the driveway and resolutely does not look back. 

She’s five hours away when she finally gives in and pulls over on to the shoulder, crying until the lump in her throat loosens enough for her to be able to breath. It doesn’t do much to ease the ache in her chest or the feeling that she’s making a terrible mistake, but it’s enough for now. And when she’s done, she wipes her eyes, fixes her makeup in the mirror and starts back on her way. 

* * *

Erica doesn’t watch Lydia go, just stays at the kitchen table, the mug in her hands now cool to the touch. And when the sound of tyres has completely faded, she gets up, puts the mug in the sink and heads upstairs. 

Stiles isn’t in their bedroom, with its California King left just the way it was when they all got up this morning. Erica finds him in the guest room, curled up on the immaculately made queen-sized bed. She climbs up beside him and curls around his back, wrapping her arms around his waist and breathing in the scent of him, her face pressed into the nape of his neck. 

‘It smells like her’, he says after a while. ‘I wanted to go back to sleep, but it smells like her and I can’t…’ He breaks off, sobbing. His body shakes and Erica shakes with him, her tears flowing freshly, because unlike him, she can smell it _everywhere_. It feels like a long, long time before either of them can breathe again. 

‘I don’t want to feel this’, she whispers to him and he twists in her arms so they’re facing each other. 

‘Neither do I’, he says. So she kisses him, feeling his tear-wet cheeks against hers and the way his breath hitches in his chest. Then they make love in the queen-sized bed, rumpling the covers and ruining the pristine perfection that Lydia had created once upon a time. And in the aftermath, when they hold each other, sticky with sweat and come, Erica can’t smell anything but the two of them. 

It hurts more than she expected.


End file.
